Roses and Thorns

It’s been 650 days that we landed back in Hoshiarpur with a mission. Mission we call it because the predictability of success is extremely bleak with all odds stacked against us.

Every-time, me and Preeti discuss solutions to the challenges we are facing, we inadverantly veer towards discussing the decision of leaving the Mumbai lifestyle. And every time both of us agree to the fact that the decision was absolutely right. A similar discussion today, pushed me to review the gains and losses we have made in the past 650 days.

 Roses I have collected in past 650 days -

1.     Kanav - The greatest benefit of our shift has gone to my eldest son Kanav. He was an average child in school when we were in Mumbai. Our move to Hoshiarpur exposed him to a different set of academics and teaching methods. It made us realize that Mumbai had failed us; and Kanav was left behind on his academic development. But our 6 months of perseverance with Kanav guided by experienced teachers in school have changed Kanav completely. He is now more confident and aggressive than ever before. Thanks to Hoshiarpur, his aptitude level has sky rocketed since we have landed here. 

Am not sure for the long term benefits of Hoshiarpur to Kanav on academics but in short term, our decision has been a boon to Kanav.

2.     Preeti - Hoshiarpur seems to have worked magic on my girl. She suddenly seems to have found her calling. The work on the project is definitely not her first choice but she has completely engrossed herself into our project and is now the backbone of it. She has developed into a full fledged entrepreneur and is no more the whimpering housewife. Her confidence and trust on herself is like never before and I am simply in love with her all over again.

3.     Stamina - Preeti’s physical recovery after two beautiful kids is something which both of us worked upon for a long time. But these 650 days here seemed to have increased her stamina by many folds. Whether it’s the environment of Punjab or her adrenalin rush as an entrepreneur, I am not sure but she surely fitter than what she was 2 years back.

4.     Parents - Nothing can replace the joy which mom and dad get while playing with their grand kids. Every night 30 minutes before sleeping are just unlimited fun for all of us with dadu papa turning into a Jester. Furthermore, with old age catching up with them, it was inevitable that all of us moved in together. Knowing dad, he would have not agreed easily and my mother’s love for their house would have definitely not let them move with us. Though our decision was not easily accepted, but our moving in together was the greatest positive which my parents have gained.

Counting Thorns that are troubling me -

1.     Money - If someone tells you that money is not important, they are lying straight through their nose. Money is an extremely important invention without which nothing practically moves in this world. Until we have a stomach attached to our body, money would always be an important factor governing our actions. But what is interesting is that the amount of money needed/desired may vary from person to person and from time to time.

While I had an opportunity to earn probably crores of rupee from the job I was doing in Mumbai, I still chose to not do it. Logically it is a very absurd decision as our project is surely not going to earn us single penny for the next few years. But yes, I did calculate that the money I already had would be enough to see me through the initial 3 years when our pilot for the project would be tested. This money is now being spent miserly and intelligently (hopefully). But what hurts is that I am not able to fulfill some very simple desires of my kids or wife at times because of this miserliness.

Money is probably the mother of all losses which I am enduring because of my decision. I am also not sure whether I would be able to earn the same amount of money ever in my life as I would have earned at job and so it does hurt every time when I check my bank balance.

2.     Luxury - I have traveled far and wide across India before marriage. The only two modes of transport which I had majorly used was the sleeper coach of the trains and the non-AC buses. So, I am not a stickler to luxury. So in a way Luxury is not a big loss for me individually. But when my family has to travel in the small car (i10, which I have) or even by bus (and abandon air travel completely), I really feel bad. It feels that I have taken something away from them.

As a family man, I would have preferred to buy a SUV in next 3 years. I could have brought smiles to Jay and Kanav’s faces when I would have bought expensive gifts for them. I could have spoilt Preeti more. But I won’t be able to do any of these probably for the next few years and am often saddened by this thought.

3.     Vacations - Both, my parents and Preeti had a long standing desire to visit European and South-East Asian countries for holidays and long vacations. And with relatives and friends spending holidays in exotic locations pinches them hard. It is a thorn which I would have to bear for some time. But yes, what I am going to regret when we get old is that I was not able to take Preeti to any of the wonderful countries in the peak of her youth.

4.     Sense of Security - At Staples, I had a group insurance cover of over 2 crores and that was all company paid. The society where we lived had security cameras all across and had security guards ensuring that the kids are safe.

Now, I neither have any health insurance for myself or family nor am I able to afford any new insurance for my kids. We don’t live in a very safe society anymore either. A theft at our house recently resulted in complete loss of money which we had earned over a year on this project. The kids have no playground to play in the society and have to play on the road which due to heavy construction activities is very busy. Jay also was a target of a foiled kidnap attempt.

In short, there is no current or future sense of security within the family at this instance. And the only thing I hope for daily is that none of our family members have to undergo any serious health treatment in the next few years for it might stretch me badly.

5.     Respect – Commanding a workforce of a very reputed company and that too at the senior management level brought me not only money but also respect from my family, colleagues, friends and relatives. It seems like that this respect has suddenly vanished for a lot of people have started equating me for an idiot.

While, I don’t deny the fact that what we are doing is nothing less than an idiosyncrasy, I also have a lot of belief in myself and Preeti. Though, respect has not mattered too much for me, but it still hurts when you are equated as a “good for nothing” person even after achieving what less than 1% people in India are able to achieve.

When I count my thorns, I am reminded that our decision to pursue the project has resulted in losses which are completely tangible and can be equated majorly in terms of money, but my gains are absolutely intangible. It is an impossible task to compare one with another. 

But these gains or losses are also a matter of perspective. For one person sense of security could be more important and for someone their kid’s education. But even these importance attached to various parameters would change with time. As I grow older, these parameters might not change much but my weightages attached to them would. 

I believe that my gains currently are substantially higher than the thorns I have to endure yet. But it would be interesting to revisit these parameters again in future and document as to what has changed.