I, very cautiously and with great effort have been able to control my anger over the years. But in the past few days this vice of mine has again started resurfacing. Though this has been a combination of multiple factors, I rather believe that it is more of a newton's third law in action.
As the maturity dawned on me in early twenties, my practical part overtook my emotional one leading to an emotional detachment with everyone around me. But Kanav has completed changed the equation with my attachment with the kid increasing day by day.
And with this love came the opposite - anger tagged to it. Any incident which causes hurt to my kid, this opposite emotion surfaces in a split second without giving me a chance to even thinking of controlling it.
When Kanav took a reverse fall from the bed today (with me and Preeti just beside him) and he started bleeding for the impact had resulted in his new upper tooth immersing in the soft lower gums, my first emotion was of a deep hatred for myself for I had been unsuccessful in protecting my kid. Next was an anguish towards Preeti for the same reasons. But when the kid came back in control, I and Preeti discussed this at length and realized that it was nothing but Newton's third law in action.
As I have said earlier that Kanav has brought about a plethora of changes in me, watching him grow is making me rediscover my relationship with my parents once again.
Whenever I get a chance I apologize to my mom and dad for all those years when I have been rude to them pointing their mistakes in my upbringing for I understand their sacrifices only now. Its only now I can realize the pain I used to overlook on their faces at my frequent outbursts and illogical behavior. I know that sooner or later I have to face the same, I will really pray to God to bestow me with the extreme patience which he has given to my parents to successfully cruse through that phase when it comes.
Amen.
Manish Saini
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