Suppose that every day, ten men go out for lassi and the bill for all ten comes to Rs.100. If they paid their bill the way we pay our taxes, it would go something like this:
The first four men (the poorest) would pay nothing.
The fifth would pay Rs.1.
The sixth would pay Rs.3.
The seventh would pay Rs.7.
The eighth would pay Rs.12.
The ninth would pay Rs.18.
The tenth man (the richest) would pay Rs.59.
So, that's what they decided to do.
The ten men drank in the lassi shop every day and seemed quite happy with the arrangement, until one day, the owner threw them a curve. 'Since you are all such good customers,' he said, 'I'm going to reduce the cost of your daily lassi by Rs.20.' Lassis for the ten now cost just Rs.80.
The group still wanted to pay their bill the way we pay our taxes so the first four men were unaffected. They would still drink for free, but what about the other six men - the paying customers? How could they divide the Rs.20 windfall so that everyone would get his 'fair share?'
They realized that Rs.20 divided by six is Rs.3.33. But if they subtracted that from everyone's share, then the fifth man and the sixth man would each end up being paid to drink his lassi. So, the shop owner suggested that it would be fair to reduce each man's bill by roughly the same amount, and he proceeded to work out the amounts each should pay.
And so:
The fifth man, like the first four, now paid nothing (100% savings).
The sixth now paid Rs.2 instead of Rs.3 (33%savings) .
The seventh now pay Rs.5 instead of Rs.7 (28%savings) .
The eighth now paid Rs.9 instead of Rs.12 (25% savings).
The ninth now paid Rs.14 instead of Rs.18 (22% savings).
The tenth now paid Rs.49 instead of Rs.59 (16% savings).
Each of the six was better off than before. And the first four continued to drink for free. But once outside the restaurant, the men began to compare their savings.
'I only got a rupee out of the Rs.20,' declared the sixth man. He pointed to the tenth man, 'but he got Rs.10!'
'Yes, that's right,' exclaimed the fifth man.
'I only saved a rupee, too. It's unfair that he got ten times more than I did'
'That's true!!' shouted the seventh man. 'Why should he get Rs.10 back when I got only two? The wealthy get all the breaks'
Wait a minute,' yelled the first four men in unison. 'We didn't get anything at all. The system exploits the poor'
The nine men surrounded the tenth and beat him up.
The next night the tenth man didn't show up for lassi, so the nine sat down and had lassis without him. But when it came time to pay the bill, they discovered something important. They didn't have enough money between all of them for even half of the bill.
And that, ladies and gentlemen, is how our tax system works. The people who pay the highest taxes get the most benefit from a tax reduction. Tax them too much, attack them for being wealthy, and they just may not show up anymore. In fact, they might start drinking lassis overseas where the atmosphere is somewhat friendlier.
For those who understand, no explanation is needed :
For those who do not understand, no explanation is possible ;)
Sunday, March 14, 2010
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
Project House @ Mumbai
When my search for a house in Mumbai began on 17th January 2010 I always knew that it is not going to be easy. With Mumbai property market being controlled by a closely knit network of brokers, it almost became a nightmare. After a thorough combing of the Mumbai market for 4 days, I short listed Borivalli-Kandiwalli strech to focus my energies on as the area fitted my budget as well as my requirements.
After searching the area in vain for a day, Vishal suggested a broker to me. I checked 4 houses which were finalized by Dad through him.
But before going to have a look at the houses, my father took me for a reccee of the societies where I was going to check out the flats.
The brokers in Mumbai share the flats which they possess with other brokers and split the brokerage for the shared flats. Out of the 4 flats which I was going to check out, 2 were shared flats (which I came to know only after visiting all the 4). Of these my broker strongly recommended against the one whose society, Gagan Towers, I had liked the most; for the broker who possessed the keys was not trustworthy. He pushed a little harder for the 2 flats which were not shared. Harder enough to raise my eyebrows.
Fortunately, I didn’t like the flat in the Gagan Tower. I even turned down the 2 flats possessed by my Broker and instead, I liked the flat which was earlier not on the list in Gundecha Towers. But It turned out to fulfill my entire criterion.
Though I had only one final single choice (which the broker didn’t knew), I designed an on the spot negotiation game which I explained my dad to help me with -
1. We would start to negotiate for the flat of Gagan Towers, for which the broker is going to stall us as he was not in good terms with his actual broker (I had sensed this when he wanted me to avoid the flat even before I had seen it).
2. We would present Gundecha as our second and final choice. This will make the broker feel that he has made way with us thus making a sort of bond (relationship). I wanted to exploit this bond which actually existed only in his mind.
15 minutes after we had declared Gagan Towers as our preferred choice to our broker, he turned his speaker phone on while in conversation with the flat’s broker trying to prove us that we will not be in safe hands if we didn’t revise our choice. And as per the plan we did.
But the adamant broker of the Gundecha towers was fixated on a rent of Rs 18000 per month with a deposit of Rs 125000. And now it was our turn to roll the dice and so did we by asking our broker to get us a deal with a rent of Rs 16000 and deposit of Rs 80,000 to be paid in 3 installments spread over 2 months.
With deliberations for over an hour and few anxious moments the deal was pulled through with our demands being accepted. The only change being that the deposit was to be paid in 2 installments.
Now came the most difficult part and that was of the brokerage. Unlike any other city, there are 2 clauses to the brokerage in Mumbai –
1. If it’s the broker’s flat, the brokerage is the rent of 1 month and if it’s a flat shared by another broker, the brokerage is of 2 months.
2. The brokerage is repaid whenever the agreement is to be revised at the end of the year.
More importantly, though the deposit was recoverable, the brokerage was not.
Negotiating down the brokerage to one and a half month rent was not very tough. But that was where the buck stopped. The broker having an upper hand with the deal cut as per our demands for a flat of our choice. I was waiting for one wrong move from the broker which he did after almost half an hour into the discussion. He asked us to take the deal or leave it as it couldn’t be pushed further. (I didn’t believe him as I still saw scope).
The very precisely developed ”Bond” came into play and I asked the broker that if this does not get through he needs to give me a better deal for a similar flat available directly with him as I am not going to any other broker. In this way he also does not need to split his brokerage.
In brief, I presented him the image of a gullible customer with a cavernous dilemma.
The deal was in a very advance stage with even the landlord giving his consent to his broker. If the deal broke here for a meager sum of 5-8 thousand, the flat’s broker would have blamed my broker of sabotaging it and pulling the customer in for his own flats thus eating his brokerage. He could not have afforded this in his closely knit circle.
Though I could have pushed him a little more to 18,000, but I decided to settle in for Rs 20,000.
I believe, I paid him an extra Rs2000 for the fun I had with him in maneuvering and molding him.
After searching the area in vain for a day, Vishal suggested a broker to me. I checked 4 houses which were finalized by Dad through him.
But before going to have a look at the houses, my father took me for a reccee of the societies where I was going to check out the flats.
The brokers in Mumbai share the flats which they possess with other brokers and split the brokerage for the shared flats. Out of the 4 flats which I was going to check out, 2 were shared flats (which I came to know only after visiting all the 4). Of these my broker strongly recommended against the one whose society, Gagan Towers, I had liked the most; for the broker who possessed the keys was not trustworthy. He pushed a little harder for the 2 flats which were not shared. Harder enough to raise my eyebrows.
Fortunately, I didn’t like the flat in the Gagan Tower. I even turned down the 2 flats possessed by my Broker and instead, I liked the flat which was earlier not on the list in Gundecha Towers. But It turned out to fulfill my entire criterion.
Though I had only one final single choice (which the broker didn’t knew), I designed an on the spot negotiation game which I explained my dad to help me with -
1. We would start to negotiate for the flat of Gagan Towers, for which the broker is going to stall us as he was not in good terms with his actual broker (I had sensed this when he wanted me to avoid the flat even before I had seen it).
2. We would present Gundecha as our second and final choice. This will make the broker feel that he has made way with us thus making a sort of bond (relationship). I wanted to exploit this bond which actually existed only in his mind.
15 minutes after we had declared Gagan Towers as our preferred choice to our broker, he turned his speaker phone on while in conversation with the flat’s broker trying to prove us that we will not be in safe hands if we didn’t revise our choice. And as per the plan we did.
But the adamant broker of the Gundecha towers was fixated on a rent of Rs 18000 per month with a deposit of Rs 125000. And now it was our turn to roll the dice and so did we by asking our broker to get us a deal with a rent of Rs 16000 and deposit of Rs 80,000 to be paid in 3 installments spread over 2 months.
With deliberations for over an hour and few anxious moments the deal was pulled through with our demands being accepted. The only change being that the deposit was to be paid in 2 installments.
Now came the most difficult part and that was of the brokerage. Unlike any other city, there are 2 clauses to the brokerage in Mumbai –
1. If it’s the broker’s flat, the brokerage is the rent of 1 month and if it’s a flat shared by another broker, the brokerage is of 2 months.
2. The brokerage is repaid whenever the agreement is to be revised at the end of the year.
More importantly, though the deposit was recoverable, the brokerage was not.
Negotiating down the brokerage to one and a half month rent was not very tough. But that was where the buck stopped. The broker having an upper hand with the deal cut as per our demands for a flat of our choice. I was waiting for one wrong move from the broker which he did after almost half an hour into the discussion. He asked us to take the deal or leave it as it couldn’t be pushed further. (I didn’t believe him as I still saw scope).
The very precisely developed ”Bond” came into play and I asked the broker that if this does not get through he needs to give me a better deal for a similar flat available directly with him as I am not going to any other broker. In this way he also does not need to split his brokerage.
In brief, I presented him the image of a gullible customer with a cavernous dilemma.
The deal was in a very advance stage with even the landlord giving his consent to his broker. If the deal broke here for a meager sum of 5-8 thousand, the flat’s broker would have blamed my broker of sabotaging it and pulling the customer in for his own flats thus eating his brokerage. He could not have afforded this in his closely knit circle.
Though I could have pushed him a little more to 18,000, but I decided to settle in for Rs 20,000.
I believe, I paid him an extra Rs2000 for the fun I had with him in maneuvering and molding him.
Monday, January 18, 2010
Mumbai Meri Jaan.............NIkaal Di
2:50 am and the train was entering Mumbai, which was going to be my home for next couple of months/years!!! Dad woke me up to get ready for the new adventure.
By 5am we were settled inside the Movie Time guest house which I had thought would be fun for its name suggested of being a movie hub. I was close enough. It was in a building very near to a popular theater called Movie Time
By 12pm, I and dad had left for a Mumbai survey to find a (affordable) residence for me somewhere in the vicinity of my office (which was in Mumbai central). We had taken instructions from the caretaker and another temporary resident of the guest house who was searching a flat for the last 15 days. We planned to do a combing operation (I like the army like feel of the words) starting from Bandra and moving towards Borivilli. Between these 2 ends there were 7 more stations; Bandra being the closest affordable place to my office; this was suggested.
“This is Manish over here for an enquiry of a property for rent” was my opening line of the first call to a broker as soon as we landed in Bandra.
“1 BHK or 2”.
“Of course 2.”
“What is your Budget?”
“Between 10 to 15K”. I immediately thought shit…..should have said 12K to keep the negotiation margin.
“Haa….Uwon’t get that in Bandra”
“I am sorry”
“The rate here is 35K to 40K for a 2BHK”
Dad was buying a cigarette and just missed my expressions.
A sleeping cell in my brain suddenly awoke and said – Sorry! I was sleeping. By the way, Mumbai is among the top 5 costliest cities in the world as far as the real estate rates go. You read this fact a couple of years back and I stored it and went to sleep. I didn’t know you were in Mumbai
Okay!! Thanks!
I called a couple of more Bandra realtors who corroborated the fact and then some small time agent’s trainee outside a pan shop suggested me to check out in Andheri.
But I wanted something close to my office and got off at SANTA(‘s) CRUIZ(S)E.
But Preeti didn’t want a house without a cupboard and wood work (which I later came to know was a fantasy in Mumbai) and I didn’t want a house with a kitchen having standing space enough only for Kareena with a size zero. So me and dad did a on the foot survey of the Santa’s cruze only to finally understand that the rates here are 25K+.
Andheri was no better. Rat houses with crumbling buildings and no natural lighting. I had a booking till 30th in the guest house so planned to give another shot to Andheri for the next 2 days and called it a day at 7pm.
By this time I had called 12 real estate agents, met 5 and had seen total of 5 houses.
It was a Sunday and the local trains seemed to me quiet a convenient way to commute.
Monday the 18th was the real experience of Mumbai Local trains. Though it was a 1st class, a misnomer, anyone lesser than 5.5 ft would have died of suffocation in the armpits of the people riding on one another’s foot. Amazingly enough some were still managing to catch a reading.
Luckily the office was closer to the station but by the time I reached office, I had spent more than 24 hours in Mumbai and the experience was no where closer to satisfying; forget gratifying.
I just wondered what lay ahead.
By 5am we were settled inside the Movie Time guest house which I had thought would be fun for its name suggested of being a movie hub. I was close enough. It was in a building very near to a popular theater called Movie Time
By 12pm, I and dad had left for a Mumbai survey to find a (affordable) residence for me somewhere in the vicinity of my office (which was in Mumbai central). We had taken instructions from the caretaker and another temporary resident of the guest house who was searching a flat for the last 15 days. We planned to do a combing operation (I like the army like feel of the words) starting from Bandra and moving towards Borivilli. Between these 2 ends there were 7 more stations; Bandra being the closest affordable place to my office; this was suggested.
“This is Manish over here for an enquiry of a property for rent” was my opening line of the first call to a broker as soon as we landed in Bandra.
“1 BHK or 2”.
“Of course 2.”
“What is your Budget?”
“Between 10 to 15K”. I immediately thought shit…..should have said 12K to keep the negotiation margin.
“Haa….Uwon’t get that in Bandra”
“I am sorry”
“The rate here is 35K to 40K for a 2BHK”
Dad was buying a cigarette and just missed my expressions.
A sleeping cell in my brain suddenly awoke and said – Sorry! I was sleeping. By the way, Mumbai is among the top 5 costliest cities in the world as far as the real estate rates go. You read this fact a couple of years back and I stored it and went to sleep. I didn’t know you were in Mumbai
Okay!! Thanks!
I called a couple of more Bandra realtors who corroborated the fact and then some small time agent’s trainee outside a pan shop suggested me to check out in Andheri.
But I wanted something close to my office and got off at SANTA(‘s) CRUIZ(S)E.
But Preeti didn’t want a house without a cupboard and wood work (which I later came to know was a fantasy in Mumbai) and I didn’t want a house with a kitchen having standing space enough only for Kareena with a size zero. So me and dad did a on the foot survey of the Santa’s cruze only to finally understand that the rates here are 25K+.
Andheri was no better. Rat houses with crumbling buildings and no natural lighting. I had a booking till 30th in the guest house so planned to give another shot to Andheri for the next 2 days and called it a day at 7pm.
By this time I had called 12 real estate agents, met 5 and had seen total of 5 houses.
It was a Sunday and the local trains seemed to me quiet a convenient way to commute.
Monday the 18th was the real experience of Mumbai Local trains. Though it was a 1st class, a misnomer, anyone lesser than 5.5 ft would have died of suffocation in the armpits of the people riding on one another’s foot. Amazingly enough some were still managing to catch a reading.
Luckily the office was closer to the station but by the time I reached office, I had spent more than 24 hours in Mumbai and the experience was no where closer to satisfying; forget gratifying.
I just wondered what lay ahead.
Thursday, January 14, 2010
Aal Izz Well
We were quiet elated when 3 of us (me, Preeti and Kanav) came out of the theatre after watching 3 Idiots. The movie was simply heart warming. Indian cinema had improved.
All izz well…..the theme ATTITUDE of the movie had already become a hit. But there was something wrong with ALL IZZ WELL; But What? I was not able to make out. Because I was not sure, I also persuaded myself to fall for it, when Preeti came to the rescue.
Yesterday, in some other context Preeti pointed out a unique ingredient of what we call “The Punjabi Attitude” – KOI GALL NAHI …. (Nothing to worry at all). If anything goes wrong we have only one answer to it – koi gall nahi yaar followed by – sabb kuch theek ho jaooga (everything will be ok) most of the times.
Though both the approaches towards a problem are quiet similar, I suddenly realized the stark difference in approach. While Aal izz well makes you cheat your heart (as aAamir explains in 3 idiots) that the problem would get solved…..somehow, Koi Gall Nahin is an attitude which motivates you to look into the eye of the problem and tackle it as if it was a very minor issue.
When my kid falls down while he is learning to walk, we tell him…koi gall nahin beta…stand up…chalo chalo….aggey chalo (nothing has happened son, stand up and move forward).
When I didn’t make to XLRI in 2003, my Dad told me beta….koi gall nahin….you were left behind just by a whisker. You need to work a little harder and sabb kuch theek ho jaaoga.
When I was under severe back pain in 2007 and had consulted dozens of doctors without any relief, Piyush Sir used to tell me….koi gall nahin…..if I am able to walk today…..you will start running soon.
Its not that Koi Gall Nahin… gives you the solution of the problem but it motivates you to solve it.
Though I might be a little biased but I strongly believe that this Koi Gall Nahin attitude is the result of a deeply ingrained devotion of the people of Punjab . They strongly believe that everything is predecided by the Almighty and the not so pleasant situations are important in the scheme of God for us. Sabb theek ho jaaoga…. emanates from that belief.
So even if Aal izz not well……still Koi Gall Nahin….Sabb Theek Ho Jaaooga.
Saturday, January 02, 2010
Happy New Year
In the beginning of the year 2009, I made 4 resolutions to myself –
- I would be more disciplined with my physical health – I would agree that I am not disciplined but have become more and more conscious of not only my health but of everyone who affect me. “One positive out of Papu which I have genuinely gathered.”
- I would make my family financially more secure – I would not say I have made them fully secure but am better off than the last year and would take the resolution forward.
- I would spend "atleast", 5 valuable hours every day with my Kid – This is one resolution, I have completed in its spirit too.
- I would professionally orient myself on a quarter to quarter operational mode – Tried to do it and unearthed the secret to do it successful and would be able to implement it from this January onwards. Thanks eYantra.
And for this year the resolutions are –
- Would be regular with my exercises and would try to bring my weight in the range of 87-90 kgs. Will make Kanav a regular too.
- Will donate blood atleast 3 times this year. Will convince at least 1 person to donate his/her or his/her relative’s eyes.
- Will grow the savings and investments to twice as much is today. Would finish 75% of the education loan.
- Will do my dad proud once again this year (I am not sue of what but will definitely do it).
- My Blog posts count will exceed 100 this year.
Manu
Wednesday, December 02, 2009
Random Thoughts
God’s been kind and has put my career on the right path thwarting me from creating a monster out of my thoughts during these days of solitude.
A slight void which absence of Preeti and Kanu has created has suddenly pushed my thoughts into a vortex. My mind has started debating and analyzing anything interesting which I see or hear by taking a plunge into my knowledge of myself.
For instance yesterday I nearly overanalyzed Toffler who explained us in an economic sense the planet has seen a Powershift in this millennium towards the one with knowledge/information. To the categories of power of Brawn (muscle, gun etc), wealth, Knowledge/information by Toffler I added a power of fame also.
Interestingly enough there is another form of Powershift which happens within each form of Power if the beholder is not able to handle it coz “Power Corrupts and absolute Power corrupts absolutely”. One just needs to open up his mind and to see it in play all around him.
Kambli scored 349 not out in the famous school match at the age of 13 in which Tendulkar scored 326 not out. Over the years as the money and fame started trickling in not both of them were able to handle it in the same way. The one who was able to keep himself focused and head grounded is the one who has raised the bar today.
Tyson is a classic case of Power corruption. Unfortunately God was kind enough to give him all the Toffler’s power of which he could handle none.
Of my numerous blunders in the past 30 years, my recent one was to oversee and misjudge what money can do to someone which has made me suffer to a considerable extent. Will talk about it whenever I can….soon enough.
Tuesday, December 01, 2009
Anne Frank – The Diary of a Young Girl
Paper is more patient than man
Frankly….when I picked up Anne’s diary, my expectations were –
1. It is going to be a very interesting thriller story. 8 people living in a hidden apartment for over 2 years hiding from the German’s with only 1 coming out alive (as per the theme). I sincerely expected a
Stephen King.2. It would tell me more about those horrific times of Hitler’s regime.
Least had I expected to be a “DIARY of a young girl”. A classic case of over(mis)expectation.
50 pages into the diary, I realized that it was Anne’s only friend with whom she shared her thoughts during those hard times. I was not too convinced that the sentences, phrases and the words used are those of a 13 year old kid. They were pretty refined and mature. As it was a translation in English, the translator took the liberty of doing it so. But can’t say the same about the thoughts expressed through them. They were definitely 13.
Ranting about food, hating her mother, growling about anything coming her way, jumping at slightest joy; she was a typical, totally confused kid trying to come to the new reality.
One thing which I really appreciated of Anne’s parents and other grown ups was to support the kids to continuously read and write which made all the difference.
I do believe that when you verbalize your thoughts and listen to yourself, your thoughts become more refined and you start choosing the right words to communicate. It’s like rehearsing in front of the mirror before the actor is to take the final shot.
I think the same started happening with Anne and by the November of 1943, she had grown into a mature young lady with more condensed and clear ideas.
She writes that the most striking part of her personality was that she can watch herself as an outsider and analyze her actions. Her analysis of the relationship with Peter, her change of attitude towards her mother, the letter she wrote to her father, all corroborate the purity of her soul and her honesty.
By the second half of the book, I was screaming at the back of my mind – God let the fact that she didn’t live through be wrong and wanted to jump to the last section to find out.
By the time I reached there, Anne’s undying spirit had taken over and taught me, that it’s not important to live a hundred years cheating your own soul.
If someone wants’ to read Anne’s diary, I would strongly recommend, not reading it for the content for it is the mistake I had made. The diary should be read for the unwritten. For understanding the fact that society is not important, important is one’s own honesty to oneself.
As I am still in the quest to find the truth in the ideas of Hell and heaven, karma, rebirth etc., but I am sure that all of them emerge from the same thought of honesty towards oneself.
While reading Anne’s description of the quarrels in the Secret Annexe, I realized that the concept writers of the popular TV shows – Big Brother and Big Boss must have read this book and tried to create situations closer to the ones in the book to incite the human mind. Two conclusions I derived was –
1. They can never be even closer to what Anne and the other 7 went through for 2 years as the times were horrific and were devoid of any leisure.
2. Winner of any of these shows have to be a strong spirited soul like Anne.
I really wished Anne would have lived longer for her thoughts would definitely have given us much more than what is left of her. At the same time I also wonder that had we found a diary of Peter, we would have got a real view into a boy’s life too.
May Your Soul rest in Peace.
The Hard Way
Choosing the next Jack Reacher novel from Lee Child was not tough. Logically I picked up the novel next to One Shot (the first one I read; courtesy Don) – The Hard Way for my journey from Hoshiarpur to
Contradictory to my guess, it did not start from where One Shot left. Jack Reacher finds himself in a new puzzle this time in
The complication was really tightly knit by Lee. While helping a military contractor find his wife, he stumbles upon an unsolved mystery of his previous while. Solving the mysteries he realizes that was a Catch 22 situation for Reacher where he seemed to be surrounded by Bad Guys on all sides. By the time we reach the climax, he is ready to take all of them down one by one. This is when the mystery turns into an action thriller and the Sherlock dons the of Bond….James Bond.
Interestingly enough, Lee has characterized Reacher in such a way that whatever he wants, he gets it done from him. This makes the reader difficult to find a pattern in Reacher’s approach making the story less predictable.
On my next journey am planning to pick up Lee’s 1st Reacher novel. Hope it is as interesting as The Hard Way.
Monday, November 02, 2009
Revisiting of an old vice
I, very cautiously and with great effort have been able to control my anger over the years. But in the past few days this vice of mine has again started resurfacing. Though this has been a combination of multiple factors, I rather believe that it is more of a newton's third law in action.
As the maturity dawned on me in early twenties, my practical part overtook my emotional one leading to an emotional detachment with everyone around me. But Kanav has completed changed the equation with my attachment with the kid increasing day by day.
And with this love came the opposite - anger tagged to it. Any incident which causes hurt to my kid, this opposite emotion surfaces in a split second without giving me a chance to even thinking of controlling it.
When Kanav took a reverse fall from the bed today (with me and Preeti just beside him) and he started bleeding for the impact had resulted in his new upper tooth immersing in the soft lower gums, my first emotion was of a deep hatred for myself for I had been unsuccessful in protecting my kid. Next was an anguish towards Preeti for the same reasons. But when the kid came back in control, I and Preeti discussed this at length and realized that it was nothing but Newton's third law in action.
As I have said earlier that Kanav has brought about a plethora of changes in me, watching him grow is making me rediscover my relationship with my parents once again.
Whenever I get a chance I apologize to my mom and dad for all those years when I have been rude to them pointing their mistakes in my upbringing for I understand their sacrifices only now. Its only now I can realize the pain I used to overlook on their faces at my frequent outbursts and illogical behavior. I know that sooner or later I have to face the same, I will really pray to God to bestow me with the extreme patience which he has given to my parents to successfully cruse through that phase when it comes.
Amen.
Manish Saini
As the maturity dawned on me in early twenties, my practical part overtook my emotional one leading to an emotional detachment with everyone around me. But Kanav has completed changed the equation with my attachment with the kid increasing day by day.
And with this love came the opposite - anger tagged to it. Any incident which causes hurt to my kid, this opposite emotion surfaces in a split second without giving me a chance to even thinking of controlling it.
When Kanav took a reverse fall from the bed today (with me and Preeti just beside him) and he started bleeding for the impact had resulted in his new upper tooth immersing in the soft lower gums, my first emotion was of a deep hatred for myself for I had been unsuccessful in protecting my kid. Next was an anguish towards Preeti for the same reasons. But when the kid came back in control, I and Preeti discussed this at length and realized that it was nothing but Newton's third law in action.
As I have said earlier that Kanav has brought about a plethora of changes in me, watching him grow is making me rediscover my relationship with my parents once again.
Whenever I get a chance I apologize to my mom and dad for all those years when I have been rude to them pointing their mistakes in my upbringing for I understand their sacrifices only now. Its only now I can realize the pain I used to overlook on their faces at my frequent outbursts and illogical behavior. I know that sooner or later I have to face the same, I will really pray to God to bestow me with the extreme patience which he has given to my parents to successfully cruse through that phase when it comes.
Amen.
Manish Saini
Kanav's Naughtiness - 7
Kanav is so fond of kids that even when he sees one in the television he gives his signature smile (with three new fresh teeth saying hello through his lips) and very cutely raises his eyebrows giving out a sound of "aaaaa" as if he is trying to call them.
These days I am reading The Anne Frank's diary whose cover carries a photograph of 13 year old Anne. Yesterday night when he saw the book in my hand, he gave in his best to snatch it out of my hands and started crying (as if he has been struck badly) non-stop till I gave in his new toy (Anne's Diary). But luckily his span of interest is limited for anything and soon turned to my mobile and left the book intact for me to continue.
Yesterday, Kanav gave us jitters when we realized that he now not only stands in the balcony and looks across the railing but has also started holding the extreme end of the railing and is doing his best to climb over it. A few days more and he will be expert enough to climb over it and we need to do our best to protect him from tripping over and take a 15 feet fall which might prove really fatal. So, I and Preeti have decided to start spending extra time looking over him and be with him every moment he is in the balcony.
Manish Saini
These days I am reading The Anne Frank's diary whose cover carries a photograph of 13 year old Anne. Yesterday night when he saw the book in my hand, he gave in his best to snatch it out of my hands and started crying (as if he has been struck badly) non-stop till I gave in his new toy (Anne's Diary). But luckily his span of interest is limited for anything and soon turned to my mobile and left the book intact for me to continue.
Yesterday, Kanav gave us jitters when we realized that he now not only stands in the balcony and looks across the railing but has also started holding the extreme end of the railing and is doing his best to climb over it. A few days more and he will be expert enough to climb over it and we need to do our best to protect him from tripping over and take a 15 feet fall which might prove really fatal. So, I and Preeti have decided to start spending extra time looking over him and be with him every moment he is in the balcony.
Manish Saini
Thursday, October 22, 2009
One Shot
Preeti was in for a complete surprise on her Birthday this year when I and Don threw in a surprise party for her at Don's place braving our laziness. But so was I.Don introduced me to one of his favorite fiction collections by Lee Child and offered me to read One Shot for a trial.
In my early reading days, I remember, I had loved Wilbur Smith's Time to die and Sheldon's Master of the game. I found One Shot to be as good as those and equally gripping.
A murder mystery, One Shot introduced me to Jack Reacher, an ex-military investigator who is in Indiana after coming across a news that there had been 5 random killings by a sniper - James Barr. Its a decent paced novel wtith multiple chain of events which unfold the mystery behind the killings.
The best thing about the novel was the character of Jack Reacher. He is a confident upright person with his set of failures in life. At certain instances, it seems to me that his understanding of the psychology of the other characters is a little overboard. But will still give Lee the credit of creating a wonderful charater in Reacher.
After reading One Shot whose mystery got me gripped to the novel, I have started thinking that of laying my hand on some of the Conan Doyle's books too for Sherlock is adjujed one of the best detectives. But for sure, I am going to read some more of Reacher of the Lee's collection of 13 novels.
Manish Saini
Saturday, October 10, 2009
Kanav's Naughtiness - 6
I was a 5 year old and loved to hear the sound of air being released form the tires and I had this habit of deflating tires of parked vehicles to enjoy the sound.
One day, as a habit I was deflating the tire of an ambassador sitting beneath it when the driver came and started the vehicle. To my luck or to the luck of my parents, someone saw me before the vehicle was driven away and alerted the driver. Knowing of the incident, my parents almost had tears in their eyes.
I remembered the whole incident throughout my life but never remembered those tears because I never bothered about that. I was just thrilled by the experience.
A few days back, when those tears reflected in my eyes, I lived the same experience but in the shoes of my parents this time.
Last Sunday evening, before going to bed, I was playing with Kanav when he picked something and put in his mouth. As a natural reaction, I asked him to spit it out and when I put my fingers in his mouth, to my horror, it was a piece of broken glass from a bowl which I had accidently broken that afternoon (though I had completely scrubbed the area, the piece was a surprise). Instead of scolding the kid, I hugged him tightly and tears started dripping my eyes. Knowing of the incident, Preeti had a similar reaction.
But her reaction was stronger the next day when she suddenly stopped hearing Kanav’s voice while playing in the balcony next to the kitchen. When she ran to the balcony, she found Kanav upside down in a bucked half filled with water. He had been hardly there for a second or two for Preeti is always extra careful but the site of her kid in this state was her worst nightmare in front of her eyes. She cried like a kid continuously apologizing from Kanav and promising to take his better care.
The two incidents back to back were quiet unnerving but have made us better and careful parents now. But more importantly, my love for my kid and my parents has increased manifolds.
One day, as a habit I was deflating the tire of an ambassador sitting beneath it when the driver came and started the vehicle. To my luck or to the luck of my parents, someone saw me before the vehicle was driven away and alerted the driver. Knowing of the incident, my parents almost had tears in their eyes.
I remembered the whole incident throughout my life but never remembered those tears because I never bothered about that. I was just thrilled by the experience.
A few days back, when those tears reflected in my eyes, I lived the same experience but in the shoes of my parents this time.
Last Sunday evening, before going to bed, I was playing with Kanav when he picked something and put in his mouth. As a natural reaction, I asked him to spit it out and when I put my fingers in his mouth, to my horror, it was a piece of broken glass from a bowl which I had accidently broken that afternoon (though I had completely scrubbed the area, the piece was a surprise). Instead of scolding the kid, I hugged him tightly and tears started dripping my eyes. Knowing of the incident, Preeti had a similar reaction.
But her reaction was stronger the next day when she suddenly stopped hearing Kanav’s voice while playing in the balcony next to the kitchen. When she ran to the balcony, she found Kanav upside down in a bucked half filled with water. He had been hardly there for a second or two for Preeti is always extra careful but the site of her kid in this state was her worst nightmare in front of her eyes. She cried like a kid continuously apologizing from Kanav and promising to take his better care.
The two incidents back to back were quiet unnerving but have made us better and careful parents now. But more importantly, my love for my kid and my parents has increased manifolds.
Wednesday, October 07, 2009
Kanav's Naughtiness - 5
5th naughtiness on 5th October. So Kanav had planned something special - His first complaint from neighbors.
Preeti was busy in her kitchen work when as a usual drill Kanav hushed up into the adjoining balcony. With an eye on Kanav, preeti continued. But there was an overlooking of hardly 30 seconds within which Laatsaahab picked up the stone scrubber and threw it from our first floor balcony which just missed our neighbor and her son.
As a natural reaction she shouted.
In the meantime preeti had apologized and realizing that it was a 10 month old kid, our neighbor also quietly whisked the subject away but not before instructing Preeti to take better care.
When Preeti narrated the incident in the evening, I was quiet thrilled to realize that my son has proved to be the real heir.
Love U Kanu.
Preeti was busy in her kitchen work when as a usual drill Kanav hushed up into the adjoining balcony. With an eye on Kanav, preeti continued. But there was an overlooking of hardly 30 seconds within which Laatsaahab picked up the stone scrubber and threw it from our first floor balcony which just missed our neighbor and her son.
As a natural reaction she shouted.
In the meantime preeti had apologized and realizing that it was a 10 month old kid, our neighbor also quietly whisked the subject away but not before instructing Preeti to take better care.
When Preeti narrated the incident in the evening, I was quiet thrilled to realize that my son has proved to be the real heir.
Love U Kanu.
Monday, September 14, 2009
The Last Lecture
Preeti once asked me my opinion on Gays and gay marriages and I told her sincerely that I don’t know for I can’t feel like them. Had I would, I would definitely told her.
The character of Rajesh Khanna in Anand who knew he is not going to survive more than 6 months because of an incurable disease was also a similar problem to me; for I was never able to co-relate with the Anand's character.
Later in the years I read a lot of books and articles to understand the dilemma’s of this character.
But for the first time I have read someone describing it as an engineering problem.
As engineering is not about perfect solutions; it’s about doing the best you can with limited resources.
Randy Pausch is a successful Professor who is suddenly in face with the approaching death. As a college ritual he decides to give a last lecture to his fellows and students but the only difference was that this lecture was not for the ones in the room. It was for his kids to watch when they grow up. On the unprecedented success of his lecture, which touched hundreds of hearts, he poured his complete lecture into his book – The Last Lecture.
The book has been a real revelation to me to understand Anand better. Even the my last article was the reason that the book has touched some cords deep inside me.
The book starts with a very promising introduction and some hard hitting and passionate writing. Randy describes life as a game of cards where “We cannot change the hand which has been dealt just how we play the hand”. He reviews his complete life to understand why he is, what he is. With the help of small fables, he talks about everyone who has touched his life and lessons he had learnt from each one.
Randy acknowledges that his life changing event was the lottery he won – The parent lottery. He was born with the winning ticket and that is what made the real difference.
As we enter the later half of the book, it becomes preachier and I started loosing interest but stopped here and there to enjoy the anecdotes.
Randy says that he was a brilliant salesman and that was the reason to join the field of education. Though the book is heart touching but difficult to read full out due to its preachier nature, I am sure Randy would have done a brilliant job in delivering The Last Lecture in which he packed the full stuff in an hour’s talk. I am currently downloading to check out the lecture.
Overall, I would rate this book as work giving a look for the litterary interest and read it for the passion of the author (at least the first part).
Manish Saini
Sunday, September 13, 2009
This one is for You!
I have tried to express this a million times but am always at loss of words. But after reading The Last Lecture by Randy, I know I really need to give it a shot NOW.
The days of our courtship were as lovely as they were thrilling for we have done some tremendous escapades together. It's been as amazing a journey as it has been lovingly eventful.
Now knowing each other for almost 6 years seem to be so less that both of us wish to have had met when we were kids and I am sure, even that would have not sufficed. The more I think of her, smaller the life seems to be. I don't know when the inevitable is going to happen but I really wish that I know it well before it happens (as Randy knew).
We have shared so much together between us; even a child; but still it seems like we have loved each other just a one by millionth of our capacity. We try to find ways and means to express this unknown feeling of ours but its so frustrating that we are mere mortals with unexpandable limits. Being always the practical(better) half she has accepted this and continuously teaches me in her own subtle ways.
People long for space in relationships, and so have I for so many times; but she really taught me that there is no space for space in ours. Had it been in her control, we would have spent every second together (and I really wish that God fulfill this dream of hers).
I am proud to let her bulldoze her way to get things done and arranged in her own way and I love the smile with which she lets me fulfill my long cherished desires.
When you find cheap toffees in our house, they are not for anyone to touch for she gets it especially for me to relish. When she lets me get wet in the rain, she knows how much I have been reprimanded for sailing paper boats in rain water and following them. When I want to watch a German/French/Foreign language movie, she sits next to me and tries her level best to concentrate and let me know that even she is enjoying it.
I don't want to thank her, but I really want to love the way she loves me and cares for me. I really wish this from my heart that let this be just the 1st of the seven births in which we are going to be together and God gives us the power to remember all the seven lives.
Nanu
The days of our courtship were as lovely as they were thrilling for we have done some tremendous escapades together. It's been as amazing a journey as it has been lovingly eventful.
Now knowing each other for almost 6 years seem to be so less that both of us wish to have had met when we were kids and I am sure, even that would have not sufficed. The more I think of her, smaller the life seems to be. I don't know when the inevitable is going to happen but I really wish that I know it well before it happens (as Randy knew).
We have shared so much together between us; even a child; but still it seems like we have loved each other just a one by millionth of our capacity. We try to find ways and means to express this unknown feeling of ours but its so frustrating that we are mere mortals with unexpandable limits. Being always the practical(better) half she has accepted this and continuously teaches me in her own subtle ways.
People long for space in relationships, and so have I for so many times; but she really taught me that there is no space for space in ours. Had it been in her control, we would have spent every second together (and I really wish that God fulfill this dream of hers).
I am proud to let her bulldoze her way to get things done and arranged in her own way and I love the smile with which she lets me fulfill my long cherished desires.
When you find cheap toffees in our house, they are not for anyone to touch for she gets it especially for me to relish. When she lets me get wet in the rain, she knows how much I have been reprimanded for sailing paper boats in rain water and following them. When I want to watch a German/French/Foreign language movie, she sits next to me and tries her level best to concentrate and let me know that even she is enjoying it.
I don't want to thank her, but I really want to love the way she loves me and cares for me. I really wish this from my heart that let this be just the 1st of the seven births in which we are going to be together and God gives us the power to remember all the seven lives.
Nanu
Wednesday, September 09, 2009
Kanav's Naughtiness - 4
Laakh pehre lagaa lo....But whatever has to happen will happen.
Kanav had already tasted a cockroah couple of weeks back. Today he tasted his shit too. I am sure his immunity becomes stronger from today onwards.
Kanav had already tasted a cockroah couple of weeks back. Today he tasted his shit too. I am sure his immunity becomes stronger from today onwards.
Kanav's Naughtiness - 3
Mom......I have won!If balcony's door is open.......its party time for Kanav. And if there is something new in there........phir to preeti ki shaamat hai.
The maid had left the pipe in the balcony after clenaing and when Kanav saw it, his first natural response was to have a taste of this new thing.
When Preeti tried to stop him, his resolve to defeat his mother became stronger.
He dashed towards the balcony and reaching there looked for his mom inside telling her, mom, I reached the balcony first; I have defeated you!
Kiddo.....may God be with you in all your Resolves. Your smile is worth living for.
We love You dear!
Manish Saini
Tuesday, September 08, 2009
Kanav's Naughtiness - 2
Days are like flying past. Another 2 months and Kanav will cross 1 year mark.
A few days back, he used to lie in my hands just blinking his eyes; and I eagerly awaiting for the day when I will be able to play with him.
Finally, The day for which I waited for 295 days arrived today.
I came back from office at around 8:10pm. Kanav was in Preeeti's arms, a little dull but recognizing that I am back, he closed his eyes, lifted his head at 60 degree and giving a big smile - his signature smile.
Preeti got busy in cooking food while I fed kanav milk and Russ. He slowly ate 2 russ and wanted more and even ate part of my ration. The diet infused in more energy in him and he started dashing towards the kitchen looking for some delicacies fallen on the floor. Exhausted from the long drive, I picked him up a couple of times and brought him back to the room.
This time while crawling towards the kitchen, he sat on the footmat infront of the bathroom and started smiling at me as if saying, dad I dodged you for my favourite place. I laughed with him and he responded quickly. I stood up to bring him back to the room.
Realizing, he picked up (crawling)speed to reach the kitchen; stopping on the way and checking if I was following and resuming at full speed.
I just loved the way he smiled back. Tired but smiling, I picked him and to reduce my effort, I gave him today's newspaper (his fav chewing gum). He tore a part of it, put it in his mouth, went to the door of the room and called me. When I looked at him, he gave me his signature smile showing me the paper. God he is just 9 and a half months. I stood up and ran behind him and the same sequence happened a few times.
I picked him up and played with him all sorts of games - throwing him in air and caching, tickling him, catching him while he crawled on the bed. His responses were amazing.
When Preeti gave him his daily dose of calcium syrup, he was completely unsatitated with 3ml and chased his mom with the feeding cap in one hand and the bottle in other to give him more.
I am amazed as to how the kid's brain is catching and analyzing things so fast. All these things which happened in the past 4 hours used to happen once or twice a day before this.
And as I am ending today's note, his mom is still strugling to make the kid sleep who was so dull at 8:10pm.
We love u Kiddo.
A few days back, he used to lie in my hands just blinking his eyes; and I eagerly awaiting for the day when I will be able to play with him.
Finally, The day for which I waited for 295 days arrived today.
I came back from office at around 8:10pm. Kanav was in Preeeti's arms, a little dull but recognizing that I am back, he closed his eyes, lifted his head at 60 degree and giving a big smile - his signature smile.
Preeti got busy in cooking food while I fed kanav milk and Russ. He slowly ate 2 russ and wanted more and even ate part of my ration. The diet infused in more energy in him and he started dashing towards the kitchen looking for some delicacies fallen on the floor. Exhausted from the long drive, I picked him up a couple of times and brought him back to the room.
This time while crawling towards the kitchen, he sat on the footmat infront of the bathroom and started smiling at me as if saying, dad I dodged you for my favourite place. I laughed with him and he responded quickly. I stood up to bring him back to the room.
Realizing, he picked up (crawling)speed to reach the kitchen; stopping on the way and checking if I was following and resuming at full speed.
I just loved the way he smiled back. Tired but smiling, I picked him and to reduce my effort, I gave him today's newspaper (his fav chewing gum). He tore a part of it, put it in his mouth, went to the door of the room and called me. When I looked at him, he gave me his signature smile showing me the paper. God he is just 9 and a half months. I stood up and ran behind him and the same sequence happened a few times.
I picked him up and played with him all sorts of games - throwing him in air and caching, tickling him, catching him while he crawled on the bed. His responses were amazing.
When Preeti gave him his daily dose of calcium syrup, he was completely unsatitated with 3ml and chased his mom with the feeding cap in one hand and the bottle in other to give him more.
I am amazed as to how the kid's brain is catching and analyzing things so fast. All these things which happened in the past 4 hours used to happen once or twice a day before this.
And as I am ending today's note, his mom is still strugling to make the kid sleep who was so dull at 8:10pm.
We love u Kiddo.
Monday, August 24, 2009
Kanav's naughtiness - 1
Kanav's crawling speed and stamina has increased and Preeti has grown slimmer. I sometimes share laughs with myself when I realize that within a few days Kanav will start walking. I am surely going to see Preeti as I have never seen before [:D].
To see him grow has been a wonderful experience for both, me and Preeti. He is showing a lot of promise as far as cerebral sharpness is concerned. However hard you try but no one can control his expectations from one's kid which just keep growing with him.
Kanav disagrees to sit and play on the bed anymore as he used to do 15 days back. You give him something to play on the bed, he will play for a minute or two and as soon as he gets bored, he will move to the edge of the bed and throw it on the floor and then innocently look at you as if he is saying - dady can you put me on the floor so that I can play with it. If you don't oblidge, he will swing his right hand as if he is saying - "main nahin...main nahin...". And still if your heart does not fall for the kid, he will make a sad smiley and will start crying while trying to get off the bed by himself (unsuccessfully).
While on the floor he his fond of going into the balcony and eat whatever rubbish he can gather before anyone of us picks him and pushes him inside. He then tries the doormat of the toilet which I now keep out in the balcony.
The thing which Kanav relishes the most is the paper, whatever be the size or taste, he just enjoys it.
But the best part is, he never swallows these rubbish. So it is easier for us to make out that he is having something beyond his diet which needs to be taken care of with immediate effect.
The day is not far when he is going to get off the bed all by himself. I am going to take care of all this stuff when I am shifting to a new house now.
Luv U Kanav
To see him grow has been a wonderful experience for both, me and Preeti. He is showing a lot of promise as far as cerebral sharpness is concerned. However hard you try but no one can control his expectations from one's kid which just keep growing with him.
Kanav disagrees to sit and play on the bed anymore as he used to do 15 days back. You give him something to play on the bed, he will play for a minute or two and as soon as he gets bored, he will move to the edge of the bed and throw it on the floor and then innocently look at you as if he is saying - dady can you put me on the floor so that I can play with it. If you don't oblidge, he will swing his right hand as if he is saying - "main nahin...main nahin...". And still if your heart does not fall for the kid, he will make a sad smiley and will start crying while trying to get off the bed by himself (unsuccessfully).
While on the floor he his fond of going into the balcony and eat whatever rubbish he can gather before anyone of us picks him and pushes him inside. He then tries the doormat of the toilet which I now keep out in the balcony.
The thing which Kanav relishes the most is the paper, whatever be the size or taste, he just enjoys it.
But the best part is, he never swallows these rubbish. So it is easier for us to make out that he is having something beyond his diet which needs to be taken care of with immediate effect.
The day is not far when he is going to get off the bed all by himself. I am going to take care of all this stuff when I am shifting to a new house now.
Luv U Kanav
Saturday, August 22, 2009
9 Months
Kanav recently turned 9 months old and it has been now one and a half years since he has been with us.
I have been through now 4 stages of emotional maturity (EM) and kanav's birth and growth is the 5th stage of my EM but is the most beautiful of all.
My best moment in the day is when I come back from office and he rushes towards me crawling and smiling full length.
He recently started saying papapapa which I really enjoy.
Time and again I am reminded of my fathers words when he said that "You will understand a lot of things about a parent and child relationship when you become a father". While I am really happy that I am realizing what he meant, I regret a lot of things I have said and done which have not pleazed them. I am sure Kanav will also tread the same line but now I am better prepared.
Luv U Kanav!
I have been through now 4 stages of emotional maturity (EM) and kanav's birth and growth is the 5th stage of my EM but is the most beautiful of all.
My best moment in the day is when I come back from office and he rushes towards me crawling and smiling full length.
He recently started saying papapapa which I really enjoy.
Time and again I am reminded of my fathers words when he said that "You will understand a lot of things about a parent and child relationship when you become a father". While I am really happy that I am realizing what he meant, I regret a lot of things I have said and done which have not pleazed them. I am sure Kanav will also tread the same line but now I am better prepared.
Luv U Kanav!
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